Broken
by Queen-Deb24
Summary: Brax is broken yet no one realises just how badly! My version of this week's H&A with Charlie and Brax's relationship being recognised a little more than what it was.


_**Hi **_

_**I really enjoyed this week's Home and Away. But after watching it I really had a strong urge to play around with the Brax scenes and this OneShot is what I came up with. **_

_**Be warned if you have not seen this week's H&A, reading this OneShot might spoil it for you!**_

_**I guess I just wanted a little more acknowledgement of Charlie and Brax's relationship during these scenes. So I did it myself :)**_

_**I hope you enjoy :)**_

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She was helpless all over again. She hardly moved and all Brax could hear was the constant beeping of her heart rate monitor.

Even in this state, Brax could see how beautiful she looked; helpless, but beautiful.

The sudden blaring of the heart rate monitor alerting that no heartbeat could be found tore him out of the torturous sleep he was in.

It was just a dream, or a nightmare!

His eyes shot open and found Leah sitting in the chair opposite him.

"Are you ok?" She asked him softly, however the question provided no comfort.

He looked back towards the bed opposite him, it was empty.

He heard Leah say something else but he ignored her.

"Why are you here?" Brax demanded.

She had no reason to be there, where was Heath?

"I didn't want to leave you," she replied.

Even at that moment, in his state, he sensed something was wrong about that statement.

"Brax, are you sure you're ok?" Leah asked again.

There was no way he was going to answer that question honestly out loud.

Truthfully, no he wasn't ok, he hadn't been for weeks.

Leah offered water and food yet the only thing Brax could think of, the only thing he could see was the image of the woman he loved laying across from him. And agonisingly the only thing he could hear was the computer alerting that her heart had stopped beating all over again.

"No, I'm, I uh, I just need some sleep. I'm alright." He answered gruffly; he wanted nothing more than for Leah to leave.

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Brax winced when Sid closed the door after he had kicked Heath out of his room, his own brother.

"How long do I need to stay in here for then?" Brax asked Sid.

He'd dreamt of Charlie more throughout the morning and each time he had opened his eyes and she wasn't there, he was brutally reminded that she was truly gone.

"When you're well enough for me to discharge you." Sid answered.

"Can't I lie in bed at home?" Brax asked. "It's the same deal."

"You have 24 hour medical attention at home do you?" Sid asked. "You need to be monitored and whether you like it or not, you're not out of the woods yet, Brax."

Brax could see Sid was angry, he wasn't exactly being the easiest of patients but it didn't matter.

Brax tried not to react to the brightness of the torch Sid shined in his eyes.

"Why, I thought you said I was fine?" Brax asked.

"Because there's always a chance of further bleeding after an operation like this," Sid answered softer this time.

"Sid," Brax inhaled. "I'm just trying to tell you mate, I don't like it in here."

"Well not many people do! Now just be a good patient and stay in bed."

"Yeah just stay in bed when I have my brother out there about to do something stupid. It gives me ulcers." Brax knew it was ridiculous as soon as it came out of his mouth.

"Ulcers? Well, ulcers I can treat?" Sid replied before he left the room leaving Brax to the visions of Charlie that he knew would soon come.

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Asking for help was not something Braxton boys do.

It meant that they were desperate and Brax was! Sid declined Brax's request for a sleeping aid and as a result Brax's resolve hardened. He wouldn't make that mistake again, he wouldn't ask for help again.

"You alright?" Heath asked after Sid had left.

Brax could hear the concern present in his younger brother's voice.

"What do you reckon?" Brax growled.

Brax knew he was being hard on Heath, he couldn't help it though. He needed an outlet for his anger, his frustrations and unfortunately that was where his younger brother was useful. Heath was tough and strong, sometimes more so than Brax, he could take it.

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Brax didn't bother trying to sleep. He didn't need to anymore to see Charlie.

He'd blink and the bed would be empty. He'd blink again and there she was.

This was the punishment he'd been waiting for the past few weeks. The pain and ache of seeing Charlie and realising she was gone was worse than the pain his head and body ever could be.

The noise of the heart monitor was his undoing. Brax didn't feel the sting as ripped tubes from his body; he was numb to the pinch of the drip as he pulled that from his arm too.

The only thing that hurt, the only thing that could hurt him, was the image of Charlie lying in the bed opposite him.

He needed to get out.

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Miraculously he was able to get out of the hospital without anyone realising he had gone. He didn't know how long it took him but he was soon walking up to a familiar door.

He'd see her soon. He was nearly there. His heart began to beat faster.

Brax knocked on the door, the anticipation of seeing her was too much.

Leah answered the door halfway; she opened it fully when she saw who it was.

"Brax, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at the hospital?"

This was wrong. She wasn't Charlie, his head seared.

Brax pushed his way past ignoring her questions.

"Charlie?" Brax yelled down the hallway.

The pain in his head began to burn incredibly. He made his way to the couch.

"Charlie?" He tried again.

_Where was she? Why wasn't she coming? _

"Brax I'm calling the hospital. You're delirious." Leah announced, she picked up the phone.

"Nah, nah. I just need to lie down." He shook his head, "I can't be there," he said as he remembered the reason why.

"Brax-" Leah tried but he cut her off.

"Charlie?" he called out once more, his head burned and his heart broke, Charlie wasn't coming.

"Brax are you alright?"

"I just, I just need to be here." Brax answered as he closed his eyes.

"If you won't let me call Sid, I'm calling Heath instead," Leah said.

Brax opened his eyes straight away. He shook his head slightly and tried to remember what she was talking about.

"Call Heath, that's fine. But I'm not going back there."

"Brax?"

"I can't stay there, Leah." Brax yelled, he tried to stand up but she pushed him back down."I can't stay there in that room."

He heard her sigh and he realised she understood. Someone finally understood what he was talking about.

"Ok. What about a different room?"

"Don't call the hospital; just let me stay here for a while." It wasn't a question or a query, it was a demand.

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_._

Leah watched Brax sleep for the next hour; when she saw him shiver slightly, she went to get a blanket.

Brax stirred again.

"You don't have to look after me. I'm all good," he said groggily as he opened his eyes.

"Really, I'm sure Sid would disagree. Brax, please let me call Sid."

Brax didn't answer.

"I know you're missing Charlie," Leah consoled.

"Really, I don't think you do." Before Leah could reply Brax spoke again, "I should go."

"Don't go, let me help you."

"I just want it, I just want it to stop. All of it."

"Yeah I know. Come here," Leah said as she pulled him into a hug, and although he didn't want one, he let it happen.

"I'm sorry." Brax said.

Leah accepted the apology and Brax grimaced. The apology wasn't to her, he was sorry for himself, for Charlie.

Brax felt Leah's breath on his neck and felt her nose and cheek snuggle into him for a second before he pushed her away.

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?" Brax stood up. "I should go." He said while he fought to stay in control of the situation. Losing it would not do him any good, especially when his head hurt more as he tensed up.

Brax ignored all of Leah's protests.

"You just leave me alone," he demanded.

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She was Charlie's best friend!

Charlie's best fucking friend.

Brax didn't know when or how this got so out of control.

But Brax knew one thing for certain, Leah wasn't Charlie and she never would be.

There was a line and Leah crossed it.

Brax's mind flashed to Ruby for a moment as he stumbled down the driveway. He should have gone to her instead. Although, it wasn't Leah who he had gone to, it was the familiarity of the house, Charlie's house that Brax needed.

Brax head burned again, he lowered himself to the ground and waiting for the pain to subside.

It didn't.

If Charlie were here this wouldn't be happening.

The thought of Charlie fired him up, gave him the strength and energy he needed to keep going.

He was almost home, he pulled his keys from his pocket, he had hoped Heath would have opened the door by now. The next thing he knew, Sid Walker was at his side.

"It's Sid Walker. Brax what are you doing?"

If Sid was angry earlier, he was livid now.

"I dropped my keys," Brax said as he felt Sid examine his head.

"Do you know where you are?" Sid demanded.

Brax could hardly keep his eyes open.

"What day is it? Hey?" Sid fired again.

"Nah, not doing this," Brax tried to push Sid away.

"What day is it Brax?" Sid yelled.

"Brax, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three," he whispered. "Nah, two," he swiped Sid's hand away.

Brax fell backward as the door behind him was pulled open.

"Geez, you right?" Heath asked, stunned to see his brother on his doorstep.

Heath and Sid pulled Brax to his feet.

"I just want to go to bed alright."

"Call an ambulance," Sid ordered and Heath made his way to the phone.

"No, no ambulance," Brax roared, Heath turned around and looked at his brother.

"You don't get a choice anymore mate, you're weak and disorientated. All of the signs that say you could be in trouble."

"Hey mate, maybe you should listen to the guy, aye?"

"I'm not spending another minute in that hospital. Charlie died in that room and you want me to go back? Some doctor you are!"

Although he wasn't talking directly to him, Heath saw the look in Brax's eye and could almost feel his pain.

How could he have been this stupid and blind?

"He stays!" Heath ordered to Sid. "Let him sleep and I'll bring him to you in the morning."

"That's if he lives until the morning."

Brax watched the conversation carry on without him.

"Blood and Sand," Heath said as he looked at Brax and for the first time in weeks Brax was able to relax.

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Sid was on the phone when Brax got out of bed.

"Who was that?"

"It was Leah." Sid answered.

"I didn't realise she was suddenly my next of kin. Didn't think she could override my brother?" Brax demanded.

"She's worried about you."

Brax was reminded why he left her place the night before and chose to ignore the comment.

"Why are you still here?"

"I'm not going anywhere without you?"

"You're wasting your time. I told you, I don't need a babysitter."

"You sure about that?"

"Last time I checked."

"You don't look so great, mate."

"Well what do you expect, getting woken up all through the night to be asked what day it is and how many fingers do you have kinda pisses a bloke off!"

"So what now?"

"I'm going to bed, you can go home, work or whatever. I don't care."

"I have already told you, I will move you so you are not in the same hospital room Charlie was in. What excuse do you have now?"

Brax didn't answer the question.

"If Charlie were here what do you think she would say?" Sid tried.

"She isn't here, and being in that room just reminds me of that fact."

"Why are you trying your best to kill yourself?"

"I got the right to make my own decisions."

"What about the people that care about you? Your friends and family."

"I didn't ask for any of that. Did I?" Brax yelled.

"What are Heath and Casey going to do if something happens to you? Heath was awake all night checking on you and making sure you were ok?"

When Brax didn't respond Sid continued.

"They will have to go through everything that you and Ruby have and are still going through! Do you want to put them through that?"

"It's not going to happen."

"You don't know that. I don't even know that."

"Don't tell me you're not in pain Brax, I can see it."

"Everything you are feeling now, Brax, the pain and the guilt. You will put Heath and Casey through all of that if anything happens to you. Do you want that?

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Brax let Sid drive him to the hospital.

He had rung Heath to let him know and he heard the surprise in Heath's voice when they spoke.

There was one reason Brax agreed to return to the hospital. It wasn't the scenarios of _what if_ and it wasn't because he felt sick.

"_If Charlie were here what do you think she would say?" _Sid had said.

Charlie wasn't here, but that didn't mean she was gone. She was the reason he sat in the passenger seat as Sid sped to the hospital.

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"I've just spoken to Heath and he said he will be in later this afternoon with Darcy." Sid explained when Brax was settled in his new room.

"Something to look forward to."

"You made the right choice, Brax."

"We'll see, but thanks."

"Of course."

Brax only had a moment to himself before Leah was at his door.

"Sid let me know you were back in here. I'm glad."

"Oh, well , he's a pretty stubborn bloke. I either came back here or I reckon he would have moved in with me."

Leah laughed slightly.

"Look Brax, umm, about last night," Leah began but Brax cut her off.

"I'm sorry for coming around, it was fair on you. It won't happen again." Brax finished firmly.

"I'm sorry. I was just worried about you and I didn't mean for things to get weird."

"Me neither."

"I feel like I overstepped the line and I really didn't mean to do that."

"Well, forget about it, Leah."

"Yeah, but I just don't want you to think that you can't come to me and talk to me if you need help."

"Leah, you're a good _mate_. You've helped me and I won't forget it."

"Yeah, good mates," Leah nodded and Brax hoped she understood that they were only mates.

"Just let me know if you need anything?" Leah added with a smile.

"Thanks, I'll be fine."

"I'm serious, Brax."

"Leah what I need and what I want, I can't have ever again. Nothing will change that and nothing will ever come close to that."

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_**What did you think?**_

_**Please leave a review. **_

_**I really really really don't want to see Leah and Brax together; I think it would be so sad, wrong and disrespectful **_

_**Thank-you for reading.**_

_**Also you do want to see a few more OneShots?**_

_**xoxo**_


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